The Shoe Princess Diaries

Thursday, June 29, 2006

" One Of The Guys"

I am back! If most of you don't know one of my hobbies or passions whatever you want to call it is motorcycle riding. I was most recently invited to "Thunder in the Valley" which is a bike rally in the arm pit of Pennsyltucky known as Johnstown. I also lived in PA for a short stint and met some really cool good people sooooo.... I headed for Lebanon PA with all my gear to go to the rally and head back to Lebanon to visit friends.

First thing is first I was told I had one saddle bag for my gear. For those of you that don't know what that calculates into: One pair of jeans, two tank tops , lightweight jacket, sweatjacket,two pairs of socks, extra do rags,toothbrush, hair brush. Very primitive , almost like camping. On a trip with only one pair of boots (not even highheeled ones to make a fashion statement).

I make it to Lebanon. Have 15 minutes to throw my things in a saddle bag and hit the turnpike for a three hour tour, of possible rain showers. We meet up with two other bikes, Eric and Mike, two stellar guys that have served our country in Afghanistan and Iraq. Thanks Guys!! No girlfriends( they had to work on Friday and could not leave early to beat the rain) .We zig zag in and out of rain drops just some sprinkles and make it to the Holiday Inn in Somerset, PA. Check in(almost like camping.) I confirm I am the only girl. Stuck in the arm pit of Pennsyltucky with 4 guys, two double beds,1 small bath. Uugh!!!

We headed out to dinner where the guys held the door did not say bad words and watched there manners funny! I told them to knock it off , they had no idea who they were dealing with and told them I would probally make their faces turn red before the trip was over. We headed the 30 miles into Johnstown and found a cozy quaint bar full of "scooter trash" ah heaven. We get parked get some drinks and guess what it rained. We were stuck for three hours with the catch phrase "its going to blow over".We headed out in the rain and stopped at another bar before heading back to Somerset 30 miles in the rain. We only got wet 15 miles of that ride.
We changed hit the hotel lounge and closed it down.

As I woke up the next morning to sleeping bags of men smelling of beer and methane I wanted to have first dibs on the small unsoiled bathroom. We went to breakfast and headed back to Johnstown for the day. It was beautiful. We bar hopped, shopped and took in all the sights and prepared to ride home in the rain. It never rained we had three gorgeous hours of sunshine we snaked through the mountains and I actually had time to say wow is this beautiful and relax and honestly did not think about my pink toilet,broken dog fence, to do list , or anything just how great it is to be free , ride the countryside feel the breeze and enjoy life.

So now I am on a mission to get my own bike and possibly enjoy some more great "Scooter Trash" weekends.

I just want to say " thank you" to Lynn for letting me go and be me and enjoy what I love.
Thanks to Todd, Ray,Eric, and Mike for a wonderful hysterical kick ass good time!!!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Celebrate !

What a wonderful, beautiful, glorious day! It all started when I picked up my faithful sidekick, nail buddy, and fellow Direct Buyer- Nat. We were off to Direct Buy loaded with credit cards and permission to spend. Woo Hoo!!!!!

I am saddened to announce the Famous Pink Toilet"s days are numbered. I am also proud to say I have won the battle of the $800.00 toilet. Which only cost $482.58. Oh don't get to upset we will be keeping the toilet around until our party on August 12, 2006. For all of you that have not seen or sat on our beautiful Pink Toilet. Last chance to view the tackiest bathroom you have ever seen. My claim to fame in the neighborhood.

Please list in your comments what we should do with plastic Pink marble countertop,Pink shower enclosure, and Famous Pink Toilet. You all are very creative and very unique. I am anxious to see what you come up with. Keep in mind we are not allowed to burn Fiberglas or plastic or porcelain in Natalie and Jeff"s "Now That's a Fire Bon Fire".

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Mulch Mulch And More Mulch

This past weekend we rented a bed edger. We had no injuries to speak of just really tired.

I am developing a whole new appreciation for the well landscaped yard. I know what I like, have very little knowledge of landscaping other than hire some illegalls, pay them and you have a nice yard. Well with all my other wants and needs ( needing to get rid of pink bathroom ASAP). I have been forced to do the yard work. I know hard for you all to believe " the Princess" doing yard work. I will give you a few moments to get it back together so you can read on.
However, I am doing a pretty good job. Lynn has not fired me yet and no one has dared to tell me what I have done looks like shit. Mulch is sold by the yard, I can fit 2 yards in the piece of crap trailer that I have found to be beneficial to the lawn slave. I have used 10 yards of mulch and have many more to go. I am sick of mulching and will be glad when it is done. 10 more yards and I should be finished. I have been busting my hump so that I will not be mulching in the middle of August.
So as you sit in your cubes, divided areas ( in Karen's case),offices, air conditioned of course. Think to yourselves......... you could be riding down the road in your gas guzzling doggy limo with a piece of crap trailer mulching your own damn yard so you can get rid of your pink toilet. Now how sucky would that be?

For those of you counting with me I have lost 22, 1lb Hershey bars .

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Abby and Dominick's Car

As you all probally know, when we decided to move to the country we bought a used Surburban. A work horse to haul remodeling supplies, $800.00 toilets, mulch, etc. Well, we soon found out that it was more convenient to haul my psycho spastic Springer Spaniel "Dominick" also. Then we adopted little miss can do no wrong, Daddy's lil whore, "Abby." It since has become there car they love it. I love it. Considering I drove Dominick around in my shit mobile Cavalier for many months. Suffering from shoulder injuries from throwing him in the back seat and having near death experiences all over the county because of his head being in the way at all times. I have taken a lot of grief from some of my tree hugging relatives. Well I love it , Lynn loves it, Dominick and Abby love it, Derek loves it ( we no longer have to torture him with the switching of the vehicles any longer).
Well with everything worth having comes a little trouble. We had figured that something unsavory was going on with are power steering in our wonderful gas guzzler. So thanks to my wonderful non $800.00 toilet buying significant other, he bought an extended warranty. Smart thinking honey!!! Well you must take it to an authorized warranty center which happens to be Pep Boys. I call they say " yup bring her on over" I arrive @ 10:00 am and explain it needs a power steering pump, and determine that they are the equivalent of Wal mart for autos. Also the pack of "Curious Georges " with hammers kind of clued me in. I call @ 2:30 PM to hear they have not even looked at it. After them telling me worse case scenario 9:00 PM for pick up. I call back at 5:00 PM to find out the "Head Curious George" has put down his hammer and ordered you guess it the power steering pump and it wont be in until tomorrow. I am now stuck in Frederick because Lynn is still at work . I am pissed, I am in PMS condition and need to have chocolate ( can't dieting) or kill something. Well thanks to a good friend I got my ride home and pimped poor me I have an Escalade at my disposal today. I know you are all worried I am suffering through quite well and nobody has died, I did not commit chocolate bar crime just the nosey neighbor across the street has her nose bent wondering where we get all our money from. Hopefully today Abby and Dominick will get their doggy limo back.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

To Cheat Or Not To Cheat

That is the question. Here I sit with PMS looming down on me. In my somewhat BLUE FUNK. Trying to ponder why I feel this way. Feeling somewhat irritated about nothing in particular. Looking for a reason to blame someone or something.

As all of you know, I have been dieting, Medifasting actually, which is a mostly liquid diet with the option of "one lean green meal" ( a piece of lean meat the size of a deck of cards and a small salad with no more than a half a cup of vegetables). I know as exciting as it may seem to all of you, I am not having fun on the eve of my PMS.

I would love so much to go to Five Guys and pig down a double bacon cheeseburger with everything they have that is so messy, I would have to ask for a fork. Some of there nice crispy fries (large of course) With so much vinegar my tongue would curl up and dip them in lots of the forbidden condiment KETCHUP. The car is outside, I could be there in 15 minutes.

However, It does feel like Christmas when you can slide on those pair of jeans that you have not been able to fit since Halloween . You know, when you started your first uncontrollable binge on leftover Halloween candy. Then came "I will just eat Thanksgiving Dinner and I will get back on track after the leftovers are gone" of course. Then came Christmas and you did the same thing and the cookies, fudge , crab dip, all the parties. Well there is always New Years to start the ill fated "resolution" Which I forgot all about during Girl Scout cookie season. Yes it is a season for the chubby girls, not known by you size 4's out there.

I have been considerate to Lynn and Nik still making brownies, cookies and cakes. Why should they suffer because I can't control myself? So today I not only have visions of Five Guys dancing in my head, but I have the most fluffy moist triple chocolate cake with triple icing in the cake saver sitting on the counter saying " eat me - I taste as good as I look"

Friends, please come one come all and give me encouragement , add your voices of reason, and help me through this most difficult time.

For those of you interested: I have lost 16 , 1LB Hershey Bars since I started 3 weeks ago.